The Plague: Homesickness

It is a battlefield, simply put. The players: you and yourself. Everybody feels it, everybody fights it, and eventually, everybody overcomes it. It is a like when a soldier is asked if he is scared before going into war and if he answers "no", you know he is lying. Those who acknowledge their surroundings, and better yet, that within them, are more likely to find success and peace in the end. I am acknowledging my undeniable, full on case of homesickness. It is a dreadful thing, homesickness. It frustrates you. It depresses you. It raises questions within yourself you didn't know existed. Yet, as with all things, there is some good to be found in it. Homesickness makes us stronger as people. It strengthens bonds. It makes us fight harder and teaches us valuable lessons. After every great fall, there is an even greater uplifting. We learn when we fall. And the concern becomes not so focused on the fall but rather if we can pick ourselves up and what we gain from it. I fell into homesickness, and I am picking myself up. I am learning about myself and the things I need to do in order to better myself.

Every morning I will wake up better and happier than the one before.

I will smile instead of frown.

I will stop comparing. I did not come here to be a judge, but rather to learn, to merge.

Less Internet time, more personal time.

Stop being concerned about what is going on at home. I will miss out on what is going on right under my nose. I came here to be involved here, not there.

Do not be afraid to ask them to slow down when they talk and tell them you can't understand.

Ask questions. Engage yourself.

Leave the house at least once each day, even if it is only walking Pepita around the block.

I said it before but GET INVOLVED.

Be open to meet new people, go to new places and see new things.

Don't get frustrated when things run on "Brasil Time". You are IN Brasil, you are ON Brasil time and that is where you are SUPPOSED to be.

Don't think about what you could have done, where you could have gone. It doesn't matter. What matters is the NOW.

Lose focus on the future, gain insight on the present.

Practice Portuguese.

Be persistent. They won't reach out to you, you are going to have to make the effort to make friends yourself.

If they don't want to hang out or meet, then get over it. Try somebody else.

Take photos. Take them in black and white. Take themed photos.

Go to a museum, even if you have already gone before. There could be something you missed. And it always offers a good chance for people watching.

Stop being so tight with your money. This is your one chance. Take it.

Do not think about how this is holding you back, rather how it is opening new windows of opportunity and pushing you forward.

You did not come here for the education. You came for the experience. Stop stressing about school.

Travel. Travel. Travel.

Try something new each day.

Eat something new each day.

Get in touch with the "Third World" side of the country. That's what you have always wanted to do anyhow, why not start now?!

Be extra polite. Smile more often.

Give up your seat to somebody else on the bus.

Engage in conversation instead of plugging in the iPod and tuning everybody out.

Listen to some local music.

Cook a meal every so often.

Watch a movie in their language.

Lean on him, but do not depend on him.

Treat yourself to a much needed Skype date with him every now and then.

Stop viewing it as "them" and "us". You are one of "them" now. Act like it.

You do not have to accept their culture, but try to understand it.

Write in your journal. VENT to it. But make sure after every entry you end it with a positive thing, even if it is just a motivational quote.

Stop looking at it as impossible. Start thinking of it as a challenge you can and will overcome.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Pace yourself. Embrace yourself. FACE yourself.

Exploration: Florianopolis, SC, 2/13- 2/26

The reviews said the "pillows were moldy" and the rooms were "so ridiculously hot that it was impossible to sleep". They also said it was the "perfect location for gorgeous hikes and beautiful beaches" and that it had "lovely and helpful staff". With such a vague spectrum, I had no idea what to expect. I just knew that it was going to be quite the experience- good or bad.

As I walked up the front steps of the Albergue do Pirata with my friend, Jenna, I was greeted with some not so discrete snickers and skeptical looks. After all, I was tugging a nearly 80lb. suitcase, fully equipped backpack, and a trail of excess bags here and there. To the avid backpacker, I was a bit beyond a ridiculous sight. How could they know I was not the normal backpacker, but a student here for 6 months? My cheeks flushed, but I swore to myself I would make this a good experience. I was determined. Now when I look back, I think "good experience" is an unjust understatement.

Jenna and I were exhausted from our 12 hour overnight bus ride but the sound of the high tide and the smell of the salt water were beckoning us. Within 15 min of our arrival, we found ourselves wondering down a long, deserted road into town. Our first meal was on the exotic side... but then, we were in Brasil, what did we expect?! We thought we ordered fried fish. When an entire fish (head, scales, eyes, tail, and all) was placed on our table, we quickly realized our Portuguese was not up to standard! But hunger persisted and we dug in. I ate the fish tail. Andrew Zimmerman would be proud.

It didn't take long till we found ourselves completely at home at the Albergue. Jenna has this unbelievable flare for starting a conversation with just about anybody and everybody and my own relaxed nature was easily accepted. Soon, we were just another pair of wondering, free spirited travelers with a hunger for knowledge. People came and went. Days were filled with adventure, nights with endless fun.

Breakfast closed up at 10am sharp every morning. And when they said 10am, they meant 10 min till or earlier. It was a battlefield getting a scrape of food before everything was put up for the day. So, every morning at 9:30, an automatic alarm clock rang in my head- it was breakfast time. My only free meal of the day. Free food to a traveling broke college student is music to the ear. French bread with jam, fruit, and a tall mug of coffee. Nothing special. It was no Breakfast Taco from Taco C, or Susan Kasemyer's famous homemade biscuits and gravy with sausage, but I was still not about to miss it for the world. Breakfast always proved to be one of my favorite times of the day. I always dabbled in the most intriguing, in depth conversations no matter who I was sitting with that day. Funny enough, they all seemed to stem around life's purpose.

"I learned a lot those mornings. Things they don't teach in school.Things I will take with me the rest of my life."

Jenna and I made the most out of our time together (she would be leaving a week earlier than I). If we weren't hiking up a mountain through a jungle to a waterfall, we were soaking in the sun and battling waves at the beach, or window shopping in the little beach town. The days it was too cold or rainy to go to the beach, we could be found lazing around in the hammock causing all sorts of havoc together or plopped on the couch watching Friends with everybody. It is amazing how the whole world knows about Friends. Every day we waited for 2 o'clock to roll around so we could watch. My friend/staff at the hostel, Jose, learned to speak English because of Friends. Who knew Rachel, Chandler, Joey and the rest of the crew could have such an impact. The 2010 Winter Olympics happened to be going on during our stay at the Albergue. When you have Europeans, Australians, South Americans, Americans, etc. all crammed together in the same living room rooting for their own teams, bashing others, and laughing at the ridiculous game of ice shuffling, it was quite the scene. I think we all really bonded over the ice shuffling though...

It didn't take us long to make friends. There were the people who came for a day and those (like me) who made the hostel their home for several weeks. Everybody, however, made some impact on my life. If you didn't know their name, you called them by their country. I often had long morning talks with Canada, music jams with Australia and fun with America. Guitar playing, smooth talking English Carne would serenade me with songs about Texas that he made up. Jonas, on the run from the Swiss Gov, would whip up amazing meals. J.J. from Ireland was my source of endless random information from the Discovery Channel. American Mike was my partner in crime. And then there was Stian from Norway... If I could justly describe him, I would. You just have to meet the guy. Everybody was a character. Everybody had something different to give and brought something new to the table. Whether it was world knowledge, a surfing lesson (thank you J.J.!!!!) or simply a laugh, everybody's presence had value.

We eased into a daily routine: wake up, eat, hammock, goof around, beach, Flavio's market, lunch, hike, beach, hammock, read, computer, beach, dinner, sometimes party (especially during CARNAVAL!), sleep, repeat. Yet, each and every day was promised to be filled with adventure. Each day was a grid full of learning, growing, and simply- living. With no obligations, no responsibility, and no worry other than what I wanted to eat for dinner that night, life was good. Life was simple. It was easy to get sucked into the lazy, carefree atmosphere. My priorities began to shift. Homesickness was out of the question; the Albergue was my home. Technology went out the door. Book education turned to life lesson education. Strangers turned into friends. My mind was opened, my heart touched, and my curiosity peaked.

I often think about the Albergue and wish I could go back. Somehow, I just don't think it would be the same though. With all my friends gone, maybe it would feel empty, different. I am confident I would be able to make new friends, new memories, but the ones I have now would be hard to top. I came to the hostel with so many unanswered questions. I was young, naive, and hungered for what the world had to offer. When I left, I was no longer that same girl who blushed at people's laughter. I left confident, independent, free spirited, and most importantly, I had found my answers. I knew what was important in life: the relationships we create, the knowledge we gain, and the personal feats we overcome. I was an explorer on the verge of discovering something big. Something life changing. Myself.